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2001.05.22 @ 06:50 AM CDT
(Tuesday, May 22nd, 2001)
A bit more technical information for those of you curious about such
things... My research into mod_perl up to now leads me to believe that it
doesn't easily do exactly what I'm after. However, I can use server-side
includes (mod_include,
a.k.a. SSI) to achieve similar things. So I'll still be using perl, but it
won't be as obvious.
2001.05.21 @ 05:20 AM CDT
(Monday, May 21st, 2001)
I think I'm going to display these entries in reverse chronological order as
seems customary for "weblogs." Hmm... A weblog. Do I want to call this
such a thing? :-) They seem so common these days. Will I actually have
readers? Do I care? :-)
And now into Perl I dive. I've decided
on Perl as the language to use to implement dynamic generation of these
pages. It is on damn near every web server I've ever dealt with. And, I
think I'm going to avoid using a database for the moment. That way these
pages can be more easily backed up and moved around, should the need arise.
And, yes, I know it isn't that much easier without a database, but I'm not
always the sysadmin of web servers where I have pages. I can't always just
go install Python and MySQL.
2001.05.19 @ 04:50 AM CDT
(Saturday, May 19th, 2001)
So I've decided that it is again time to revise my website. The design is
an evolution of the previous one, but I hope to update more often. I've
been thinking for a while that I'd put some rants, raves, and other
miscellaneous comments up here. Maybe keep the site a bit more interesting.
So here's a start.
I've not moved everything I used to have available over yet, but that will
come soon. First some updates on recent events...
So I've just been to a friend's graduation party. She's finished her RTF
degree at school. Congratulations. :-)
Since I've just started this I have no idea how my friends would react to
being named here. Probably not badly, but I'd rather ask people before
using names. So, people will remain anonymous until then. I hope it
doesn't become too confusing. Back to the story... So she has a pretty
cool party. I know some of the people and meet some new. Toward the end we
have a nifty discussion about designing parks. Don't ask me how we got
there... I'm not really sure; and no I wasn't drinking. :-) The basics of
it at the end were that designing a park can be nifty if done for the right
reasons; not to best mother nature, but for artistic value and/or for
entertainment value (a playscape-esque setup for children, maybe). We
agreed that there is a natural beauty that mother nature comes up with that
shouldn't be tampered with. A simple realization maybe, but not necessarily
one people make. Anyway, I thought it kinda nifty.
Hmm... On what to comment next. Maybe the boys sitting around me? :-) I'm
doing the first part of this redesign on my laptop at Mojo's in Austin. It is a Friday morning now
shortly after 5 AM. Apparently, on Friday's Mojo's has a DJ out to spin. I
find this out last week when I and three other friend's dropped by. We'd
not been out for coffee together in several years and thought it time. And
it was a better diversion than playing Q3 again, at least for them. I don't
play Q3 enough to need a diversion from it. :-) So we get our drinks and
decide that for once in Austin it isn't too humid to sit outside. That's
cool with me since I'd get to more easily hear the music. I happen to sit
where I can easily see the DJ and his assistant. No, it wasn't on purpose.
The other of the four of us who is gay and male also notices what I'm
watching. It is actually the assistant. He looked over at us several times.
I don't know if that was on purpose or just he happened to be looking in
that direction. Nor do I know for sure who he looked at. I didn't mind.
He's quite beautiful. So back to tonight. I'm driving home from the
aforementioned party and go by Mojo's. I notice a DJ is present and
wonder if it is the same pair. So I turn around and decide that I should
start on that website redesign I've been considering for a while. What a
good idea. So, I'm sitting in the same place typing away on my laptop.
Hey, I'll find out how long the battery really will last. ;-) One of the
bugs drawn to the light above the table finally gets in my coffee, but no
matter, I'm quite awake and enjoying the music and the view. I've
recognized that at least one piece is by Bjork so far, but the rest I don't
know. There's almost a breeze even. It is kinda pleasant. And just a bit
humid.
So why am I focusing on the boy(s)? I seem to be doing that quite a bit the
last couple of weeks. I think it is mostly that I'd like someone to hold
and be held by; at night, in bed, on the couch watching a movie, or
whenever. It has been at most a couple of months since I was last dating.
I'd like someone who doesn't mind my oddities; who accepts who I am and that
there is some strange logic to my thoughts. Really... I try to provide
that in return. And I'd hope that someone I'm dating would tell me if I'm
not.
So I've written quite a bit, for me, in the past half hour. And nodded a
"hello" to the assistant that happens to be doing the DJ work this evening.
;-) I can't tell if they're about to stop or not... Hmm... I guess not,
he just put another LP on the second turntable. Yay! Now the other one is
taking the lights down. So maybe they are stopping soon. Oh well...
Couldn't last forever.
That brings me to another rant of sorts. The problem I always have is that
I can never tell if someone is straight or not. I know, we've all had that
problem. It isn't any different for anyone else. :-) Though straight
people usually get to assume that the rest of the world is straight. Yeah,
heard that one too... But this is a rant, remember. Not a philosophical
essay. Maybe we should all turn shades of purple. The more non-straight,
the darker the shade of purple. Or some article of clothing or something.
As long as it was involuntary, so that everyone else would be able to tell.
It probably wouldn't help my dating situation, but if such an event
occurred, my dating situation wouldn't be the primary thing on my mind. :-)
Think of the kind of impact that would have on people who think anyone not
straight is a "problem" or whatever. Yeah, so I'm something of an
idealist... I think it is tempered by realism. But I can be wishful on
occasion, right?
OK, enough for tonight? I think so... It is closing in on an hour and I
still have a bit over half a battery left. Fun, I like the laptop even more
now. And I'm thinking the DJs are a couple, but I don't know... It'd be
nice if I knew the answer to the straight or not question. I mean, I am at
Mojo's... So who knows. :-)
I guess in some way it doesn't matter too much... I'll meet the boy I'm
supposed to sometime. Fate? Destiny? Chance? I don't know... Does it
have to be something specific? I don't really think so. I was quite
entertained talking to a boy near Houston via irc earlier today. I've seen
his picture in the past and I think he's seen mine. In response to me
saying that he shouldn't be totally bored since I was around to bug him, he
said that he finds me entertaining and that I don't bug him at all. I had to
rephrase that with "bug" instead of bug. I smiled, and wished that he could
see me smiling. I don't know that much about him, though I know we share
several interests. At least some musical tastes and computers to some
degree. Does this matter? He is living near Houston and I'm in Austin.
That hasn't stopped others in the past. Oh well... We'll see what happens.
Maybe I'll get to know him in person, and maybe not. :-)
So I said I'd stop... I guess not; I do have a lot on my mind at the
moment. Will I actually post this where the world can see it? I dunno,
yet. Writing it has been a good thing, I think. I don't know that I've
"solved" anything, but that doesn't really seem the point of writing it.
The major change of late is that I'm no longer working at Dell. I was previously employed by Spherion as a contractor in Dell's Linux Systems Group (LSG).
Back in a bit...
Hmm... Maybe I'll have to be at Mojo's on Friday's more often. Just
thanked the "assistant" if he is indeed that, for spinning. ;-) Got a
smile out of him. He has quite nice eyes. So that was fun. And he and the
other guy drove off in separate cars (in the same direction). Yay! Love it
when I watch for all the details and read way too much into things.
So we're back now... Last Friday, the 11th (before the first Mojo's
trip) Dell decided to lay off all contractors. When I found out at 10:20
AM, I was told that it affected all of the Enterprise Server Group (ESG),
the business unit of Dell in which the LSG existed. I found out later that
it was more likely companywide. Either way, the result is the same. I've
spent the week taking a break and catching up on some errands. My car and
my mom's car have had the work they needed, and for the first half of the
week I kept a "decent" schedule. I guess I'm not going to this weekend.
It's now about 6:20 AM. The sun is rising and the birds a chirping. The
breeze is picking up a bit. And the Linux APM driver is estimating another
hour and a half of battery. :-) Maybe my 486DX4/100 laptop is a late
enough model to have decent battery life and status output. So back to
Dell... Through last weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) I had four
people ask for my resume. I don't know if any of those will lead to
anything, but it was nice anyway. One of my co-workers also said that the
group would like to take me out to lunch the following week. They did take
me out to lunch on Friday. Thank you all. It was fun to work together.
So I called the same co-worker this past Wednesday to see how things were
going and to see if they were interested in lunch. He answered my how are
things question with, "I'm joining the world of the unemployed." My first
thought was what?!? I knew there were rumors of more layoffs, but I hadn't
thought anyone else in LSG would be laid off, especially him. He continued
with the news that a large chunk of the group was also gone. I found out
later that it was almost 50% (13 people). I can understand the need to cut
expenses as a company in the short term, but I also think that one needs to
keep the ability to design, package, test, etc. new and updated products.
It seems short sighted to me to cut too many people in the product groups.
Now, this is my perspective as an outsider. I don't know how many other
subgroups within ESG were hard hit. I'd hope for the company's long term
health that it wasn't too many. And I wish they'd stuck with Linux more if
it was only LSG or LSG and other "marginal" groups. Either way, this
co-worker and I met for a drink later that afternoon and had a good time
relaxing.
So what do I do from here with regard to employment? I'm still doing
consulting work with TxIS. At the moment
that is for just one client and provides some income, but it is usually not
enough to cover my monthly expenses. We may decide to grow TxIS and we may
not. I've also thought about getting a network admin job somewhere...
Probably a smaller network than I was previously responsible for at Travis
High School (THS). One where I wouldn't be so far behind all the time.
:-) I mean, I enjoyed working at THS, but I'd like to not always be fighting
an uphill battle. I could also stand to do testing work again (what I was
doing at Dell), though I'm not exactly sure for who.
Okay, I think I'm finally winding down. Yes, for real this time. I also
just had the pleasure of watching two squirrels chasing each other around in
one of the trees behind me. Yeah, I'm still at Mojo's and it is now quarter
'til 7 AM. They went up and down the main trunk and then nearly to the top
branches. I've always thought it'd be cool to be able to run around a tree
like that. Even cooler; it is a pecan tree. Simple pleasures sometimes.
:-)
2000.06.16 @ 06:30 PM CDT
(Friday, June 16th, 2000)
This is an edited version of the content from my old "what do i want?"
page, hence the jump in date from the rest of the entries. Note that I was
in an idealistic mood when I originally wrote this, so please read with that
in mind.
What do i want?" This is a tough question to answer, so I hope I'll be able
to clearly communicate my thoughts.
There are many things I want. The major ones are friends and family who
love me, toys I enjoy, a job I enjoy, and things that continue to challenge
me. The only thing I want that I've not listed already is a boyfriend/husband.
So, now that I've said that; if you didn't already know I am gay, but that's not what I'm
here to write about (at least not directly).
So, of the things that I listed above, I am lucky in that I have a wonderful
family, great and always entertaining friends, toys (a.k.a. computers) to
play with, and a job I generally like. The things to challenge me come from
many places, but largely from work, in the form of things that clients want
us to do that we figure out how to do.
Now if I just had a boyfriend. *grin* From my perspective my view of
dating appears different than that of others my age. I'm sure some of that
is just my warped perspective (however-so-much it is or isn't warped). I
would like a long term relationship, or to be working toward one, rather
than just meet people for sex, and I don't say that to knock sex. I know
how much fun it is. ;-)
So, what I want in a guy... I would like someone who accepts me for exactly
who I am (faults, good qualities, and everything else). I do this for
people I know, and continue to do so, even though it may not always be the
best thing. I wish the rest of the world would do this, and find it a very
important quality to have in one's significant other. I would like someone to
whom I am attracted, and who is attracted to me. I would like someone who
either likes computers or who realizes how important they are to me, and
won't mind me talking about them, since I do so often. I would like someone
who likes to hold me and to be held. And yes, I know how idealistic this
seems. I find myself to have a curious combination of idealism and cynicism,
which I think makes some sort of sense.
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